VietNow National Magazine

By Ray Gustavson

What’s it like for a former “VA guy” who doesn’t know anyone in VietNow, and has never been to one of their conventions, and decides to make the trip to Cape Girardeau? A first-time convention-goer finds out firsthand what VietNow is all about.

First impressions make lasting impressions, I thought, as our plane touched down at Lambert Field, St. Louis, on May 29, 2008. I squeezed my wife’s hand. What would these VietNow convention people be like? Friendly? Aloof? Would there be a trace of hostility when they learned I was “one of the enemy,” a former VA employee? Drops of sweat ran inside my shirt, and I wondered if heading for the convention, to be held at the Drury Lodge, Cape Girardeau, Missouri, was a smart thing to do.

But I was surprised at the immediate friendliness of our limo driver and escort from the Trail of Tears VietNow Chapter. They smiled and greeted us with down-to-earth sincerity.

During the limo trip to the hotel we conversed with a group of Gold Star mothers. A talkative, friendly group – I could only imagine the pain they must have suffered when the military came knocking at their doors with that
dreaded news.

I’d dealt with it before, but only in VA claims files, where I’d read accounts of such events. Now this was something personal and in my face. One young man named Cody sat next to me, his mother in the row ahead. Cody had been very young, he explained, when his brother died in Vietnam. Luckily, he had not been scarred, but the look of unending sadness in his mom’s eyes told me she had never forgotten. That look saddened me, too.

I was thinking, while I talked to Cody and the other moms, that the VA
ought to require its claims-processing employees to make personal contact with the people asking for help. Get to know them on a first-name basis. And feel their pain.

Friday, the Trail of Tears Chapter drove us to the Stars and Stripes Museum in Bloomfield, Missouri, where we toured that immensely fascinating facility. Many exhibits and photographs lined the walls. Realizing I may have appeared aloof, that trait I had worried about in others when I was in St. Louis, I opened up.

I chatted with the curator, a woman who had lost her husband to the ravages
of an Agent Orange cancer. When she told me she’d already filed for Death
Indemnity Compensation (DIC), I noticed that she, too, had a sadness in her eyes. I gave her a hug.

Next, we headed to River Ridge Winery, Commerce, Missouri, where we learned how wine was made, and then participated in a protracted wine tasting. Ah, the taste of good wine, and its stimulating effect on conversation.

After returning to Cape Girardeau, we took an evening tour of the Mississippi River Tales Mural. The next day we went back and took pictures of that impressive undertaking.

On Saturday the convention opened with a great welcome from VietNow National President, Rich Sanders, followed by speeches and informational presentations.

Dr. Janet Kamer related the U.S. military’s attempts to deal with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) for veterans returning from the Iraq/Afghanistan war. Other presentations followed, including an update on a homeless feeding project. The presentations introduced me to a recurrent theme: people caring for people.

Saturday evening the Trail of Tears Chapter hosted a banquet with several events. There was a ceremony honoring POW/MIAs, which sent a strong symbolic message: You are not forgotten! Next, each Gold Star Mother rose and listed the date and place of death of a beloved son in Vietnam. Then, Mary Jane Kiepe, National President of the Gold Star Mothers, told how the military had knocked on her door, and told her and her husband that their son had been killed in an F-18 training accident.

What had seemed important to her husband, the college basketball tournament he’d been watching on television, suddenly seemed insignificant and inconsequential. She recited the popular allegory, “Footprints in the Sand.” And then Sue Eisenhower presented the annual VietNow scholarships to needy young students. At the conclusion of the evening I was left with yet more insights into what VietNow means.

After the banquet we spent some time in the Trail of Tears hospitality suite, drinking beer, and getting to know the VietNow members a little more. Later, we were invited to the Trail of Tears clubhouse in downtown Cape Girardeau, where we drank more beer, and continued talking with the chapter members. As the evening wore on, I felt a closeness developing between these former GIs and myself. I interpreted that as the start of real friendship, and for the first time in my life I felt like I belonged – that I had finally come home.

Sunday morning we attended the President’s Breakfast, and began the process of saying good-byes until next year. The breakfast ended with the group forming a circle, holding hands, and singing the song, “Proud To Be An American.” Afterward, I felt like I really was a part of VietNow.

I came to the convention not knowing what to expect, and left seeing that VietNow is a warm group of individuals filling a void in our society: Helping those who are in need. That warmed my heart.

Ray Gustavson served with the U.S. Army in Vietnam, and is a retired VA Rating Specialist currently writing a book to help veterans better understand the VA claims process.

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